Monday, May 12, 2008
a sad day
This is probably going to be the loneliest time in my life. I have decided to not attend church anymore. I thought I could still do that despite my beliefs to still have contact with my friends. I don't think that can happen. I don't think anyone is going to invite me to any activities anymore, girls nights out, etc. It's a sad thought. I really want it to be made clear that I love my LDS friends and family and am glad that they are happy in the church. That is just something that I couldn't do. I don't judge or look down on those who believe in the church and feel that anyone who wants to believe in it is free to do so. Hence my phrase "live and let live". I don't put information on this blog to show everyone how stupid THEY are, but to lay out to myself why I don't/can't believe in it. Part of me wishes I hadn't made this announcement til after we left Lansing, but then there's integrity. I just couldn't do it. Everything will be ok though. Just keep pushing forward. I will continue to post on here when I feel inclined to do so.
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3 comments:
hey amberly,
just wanted to let you know i'm reading you here. i'm glad to have found this and to know what is going on with you. someday i'll have the guts to be as open about what's going on at our house the way you and john are. thank you for being honest and raising your doubts. too often we swallow the sugar-coated pills hand fed us by our families or leaders. not to say those pills are bad for us... but i think it's important to ask questions and be honest with ourselves about what we actually believe and not to just "go with the flow" to avoid conflict and hurt feelings. it's not fair for anyone to live like anyone other than themselves.
i will say i'm not surprised to hear this from you, but only because a few weeks ago in church the look on your face was the way i felt: "why am i here?" i'm proud of you. i hope you'll keep searching for the "truth," whatever it is. i am, too, in a different way. good luck.
jensie
wow- thanks jensie! i had no idea i had the "why am i here" look on my face, or at least that it was noticable. that's hilarious. thanks for the comment!
I'm sorry if people stop inviting you to do things! That is lame!!! If one of my friends left the church but was still respectful to me about my beliefs then I would be the same to her!!! That is messed up when people change because of something like this.
I would understand if you were disrespectful and always wanted to talk them out of their beliefs but you are clearly not doing that!
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